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Tomb Raider
  • Composed by Tom Holkenborg
  • Sony Classical / 72m

Most films based on video games are cinematic masterpieces and the two Tomb Raider films which starred Angelina Jolie are no exception.  I remember both of them – they starred Angelina Jolie and, oh wait, I don’t remember anything else.  (OK, I remember that bit when she got onto the boat.)  Still, I’m sure this new one will really be great – how could it not be?  It’s 3D!  Alicia Vikander steps into Jolie’s shoes as Lara Croft, and the plot sees her raiding various tombs.

[Rest of review redacted]

Rating: No stars

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  1. J.B. (Reply) on Friday 9 March, 2018 at 21:51

    “A composer once wrote to me that because I couldn’t write music myself I had no right to criticise those who did.”

    That is a laughable argument. I hope you came up with a good counter.

    • Jules (Reply) on Friday 9 March, 2018 at 22:25

      Please tell me it wasn’t Han.
      But I’d bet money it was.

      • James Southall (Reply) on Friday 9 March, 2018 at 22:42

        Hmm…

        • Jules on Wednesday 14 March, 2018 at 11:08

          It’s sad that he seems to have such a big ego, because he does come out with genuinely great music, and has given pathways to some of my favourites – Powell, Gregson-Williams etc.

    • Justin (Reply) on Saturday 10 March, 2018 at 22:28

      Yeah, it’s such a bonehead argument; knee-jerk and not reflection of deeper thought.

      I’m not a cook, but I know bad food.

      I don’t make cars, but I know a lemon when I see one (and so does congress — there’s a lemon law).

      I’ve never made a movie, but I know shitty movies hen I see them (anybody seen “The Room”?).

      And so forth and so on.

  2. Ad de Nijs (Reply) on Saturday 10 March, 2018 at 09:39

    Spot on James.
    I had the pleasure of meeting fellow countryman Tom Holkenborg in LA at the Fans of Film Music meeting and he is actually a nice guy.
    But there it indeed ends. I find your comparisons hilarious (especially the “Lawrence of Arabia” one) which makes even a harsh piece of review like this fun to read.
    For me, i.e., Tom will think otherwise I’m afraid but the truth can hurt.

    Btw. I made a remark on your twitter post that states that what you mention here about the lack of education goes for many pop music turned filmcomposer IMHO.
    Lucky one-hit-wonder aside that includes many ‘great’ names in film scoring.
    But that would trigger a completely new, but interesting discussion for fora.

  3. AdoKrycha007 (Reply) on Saturday 10 March, 2018 at 09:51

    No more Remote Control shit composers !!!

  4. ghostof82 (Reply) on Sunday 11 March, 2018 at 20:36

    I know it’s not fair to expect there to be another John Williams around, but really, can you imagine what JW of the 1970s period (Superman The Movie, Star Wars, Raiders etc) would have done with a film like this? Movie music is lost down the rabbit hole and I don’t think its glory days are ever coming back.

    This almost makes me wish that Zimmer had done it.

  5. Markus (Reply) on Tuesday 13 March, 2018 at 20:08

    You nailed it James!!!! Terrible “music”

  6. Momo (Reply) on Wednesday 14 March, 2018 at 23:27

    You were fantasizing, but Powell really DOES need to get more action-adventure assignments like this.

    • Jules (Reply) on Thursday 15 March, 2018 at 08:25

      I think Powell might be quite serious about the ethics of the violence portrayed on screen, which is why he does a lot of animated stuff. Not sure where I heard that though.

      • Jon Broxton (Reply) on Wednesday 21 March, 2018 at 05:05

        It was in the interview I did with him when he won an IFMCA Award for How To Train our Dragon 2. The interview is on Youtube, and that is indeed what Powell said.

  7. Mindy Shootmyself (Reply) on Friday 15 June, 2018 at 11:59

    I have never actively set out to slam someone’s work before. Before. The movie or music is barely more cliched than my saying it was ‘like razorblades to my senses’…..all of them. As for the music, it’s a pity he let his huge ego take all the credit for this disastrous piece of garbage that added to an already unbearable film. George Washington certainly didn’t plan on his men seeing as many “I’s” in the revolutionary war as there were in his humbling narrative. And what was that garbage song at the end credits? Whatever cat or screech owl of voice that was singing, I don’t even think PETA would stand in the way of someone “old y’ellering” that thing and putting us out of our misery.

  8. ANDRE>>Cape Town (Reply) on Saturday 16 June, 2018 at 23:52

    Yeah–there`s so many trashy scores being marketed that I’ve been ordering expanded and remastered releases of scores that were once considered ‘great’, and now emerge as masterpieces next to the current crop of deplorables. Some years back I bought PASCAL GAIGNE’S ‘A Journey to Eden’–not particularly accessible! But the marketing spiel for two recent scores advised that this French composer, now living in Spain, had changed his signature style for two recent films. ‘ERREMENTARI, The Blacksmith & The Devil’ has orchestral tonalities that are stunning and innovative, particularly the last three tracks with sampled anvil sounds augmenting a chanted Latin litany. The other film, ‘VERBO’ has a theme for Sara, that undergoes various transformations with track 36’s variation expressing beauty and emotion– so rarely heard today.